Mirror, Mirror...
I remember standing in line at Sacred Heart School as a second grader waiting my turn to go to Confession.
This is something we Catholic second graders did every week - sinful 7-year-olds that we were... And what I remember most is racking my brain, trying to think of something for which to repent.
I usually re-racked some version of not obeying parents or not listening to teachers, as I desperately tried to think of something new or creative to confess to Father Esper.
Fast forward a couple of decades, and my capacity for self-reflection has certainly improved, although I still feel utterly naive about the full extent to which my words and deeds fall short of the glory of God.
One thing I understand better, is the subtlety of my sinfulness.
In C. S. Lewis’s classic book, The Screwtape Letters, senior devil Screwtape explains, “Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.”
Noticing, "a gentle slope, the slow turnings, the lack of signposts," is what Lent is all about.
After all, like marriages that dissolve, and parishes that dwindle, people rarely exit abruptly, but gradually. We always notice the dramatic, not so much the subtle.
This is why the work of Lent - and self-examination - is so serious, dead serious. Deep down, we want to see the places where we miss the mark, we want to know our shortcomings even if there are heavy consequences. Better we notice our fly is down by looking at a mirror in the rest room, than be told by a stranger on the dance floor.
As we look in the mirror over these next 40 days, what will we see? How is our fear, exhaustion, happiness, longing, gratitude, and arrogance showing? How are we accepting, forgiving, and supporting ourselves? How is God shaping us into the people we want to be as a result of our intentional, persistent self-examination?
