Forgiving somebody this holiday season holds the potential to dramatically change the life of both the forgiver and the forgiven.

First, forgive somebody because it’s the key to a peaceful soul.

Unforgiveness is like hurling a huge cactus at your enemy with your bare hands. Sure he’s gonna get hurt, but so are you.

In the days following the deadly New Zealand mosque shootings in March, a survivor, Farid Ahmed was asked why he was so quick to forgive the shooter. He said, “I do not want to have a heart that is boiling like a volcano.”

Unforgiveness will sting, burn, and eventually suffocate our souls. It’s time we do more about it. So if forgiveness is a journey, what’s the next step? If we started by criticizing our offender, can we move to no longer bad-mouthing them? Move on to praying for them? Even wishing them well? What’s the next step?

Second, forgiveness can radically change the life of the transgressor. 

When we decide to forgive we can greatly relieve their stress and heartache. Theologian Frederick Buechner writes, “When somebody you’ve wronged forgives you, you’re spared the dull and self-diminishing throb of a guilty conscience. When you forgive somebody who has wronged you, you’re spared the dismal corrosion of bitterness and wounded pride. For both parties forgiveness means the freedom again to be at peace inside their own skins and to be glad in each other’s presence."

Finally, forgive yourself and reclaim your soul.

It’s been said that a lack of self-forgiveness is a major cause of mental illness. If we could simply let go of our internal lament over missed goals and blown opportunities, and stop the self-flagellation over the fruits of our frail humanity, think how much energy we might have for doing things that really mattered.

This, too, is a journey. We begin by confessing our sorrow (again); by taking our minds off of our failures and reminding ourselves of our victories; by looking around us and realizing how worse things could be.

Friends, the best present we might get this Christmas is the gift of letting go, dropping the grudge, giving up on vengeance, taking forgiveness to the next level - which is ultimately toward freedom.