"Honey, should I wear the black one or the grey one?"

I was asking about turtlenecks as we prepared for dinner with friends one night.

I suppose in some small way I was letting my wife define me as I took her advice (grey, always grey), for we humans are communal by nature and rely on the opinions of others to form our self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence.

But the way we allow others to define us is analogous to the ways we worry and fear: none of these are bad in themselves, we just participate in them way too often.

As Christians, we work to make God the biggest influencer, the biggest definer, of who we are, for we know that the wider culture often offers influences that are antithetical to the way of the Gospel.

in this season of Epiphany, Sunday's gospel brings a revelation. We hear of Jesus entering a synagogue, reading scripture, and claiming the declaration it makes about who he is and what he has been called to do.

Would that I could accept as readily and claim as confidently the identity scripture gives to me!

Time and again the Bible tells me I am provided for, I am forgiven, I am purposed, and I am destined for a greatness in God's plan that only I can fulfill.

Too often I look at challenges as road blocks to my happiness, and not stepping stones to a more aware and alive existence.

Too often I choose the saccharine soft drink of familiarity and routine to the Red Bull of risk and chanced failure.

Who's defining me and why do I let them do so?

Lord, be my mirror and give me ears to hear only you.