I was working on a project with a friend recently when, for some reason, things went sour.

One misunderstanding led to another and since we were mainly communicating by email the ‘Confusion Margin’ had disproportionately increased, which climaxed in a fiery email from my collaborator.

It was one of those missives he’d probably written too quickly, used to vent instead of clarify, and before we knew it, the entire project was now in jeopardy as I stewed on his hurtful insinuations and tempting ultimatum to dash the whole thing.

There I sat, cursor blinking, emotions heightened, seriously contemplating, ‘How am I going to answer this?’ Sure, I knew what I wanted to say – but I suspected this wasn’t what I should say.

Has this ever happened to you?

And so come the words of Jesus:

“Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”

Amidst my very real emotions of, pride, pain, and growing appetite for vengeance it occurred to me that my place of true joy would not be found in giving life to these feelings, but in putting them to death. The short-lived, sweet taste of revenge, which, not unlike fast food, would delight for a moment, would also become ultimately unsatisfying. I knew the project was worth doing, and so dying to self was what must happen. For life to flourish, death becomes essential.

What are the things in our lives we need to put to death? Are there feelings of pride, revenge, envy, and self-promotion that we need to dash? How might our willingness to suffer wrong improve our lives and the world?

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Reading

The Dumbest Generation – Mark Bauerlein

Seasons of Faith and Conscience – Bill Wylie-Kellerman

Matterhorn – Karl Marlantes